ME time for girls .......

have u ever wondered how many women in India indulge in themselves..... how many of them can spend money on what they like... without considering how important it is for her family ...... how will it benifit her kids..... ???? how many women would consider a day in the spa , without feeling guilty that they wasted money on themselves........

as th trend is just begining in India that women ...... umm ... well feel liberated enough to pamper themselves -guilt free!!! its far from being popular ..... in most cases .... its considered immoral for a women to put her-self 1st ...... its considered the " bigheartedness" of Indian women ...... so I ask .. if a person thinks that pampering herself is right ..... does that make her a bad person ..... does it make her selfish .... ???

In a country where earning more than the spouse is something that is unthinkable .... i mean sure there are women ((very few of them ... may I add)) who earn more than their spouse and yet manage to maintain an ego-tiff free relationship ....... hats off to them !!!!!!!! n their spouse!!!

many of us speak about women liberation ..... and women empowerment ...... n i assume that many of us contribute towards it too ..... in their own ways ...... but come on ..... lets face it ...... its true that women of India have finally started making their move towards equality ...... but i must add...... we are far from achieving it .......

be it at work ... or at home...... women fight everyday to be treated equal ...... for people to respect their individuality ...... its sad that its so hard for most of our fellow country men to understand and let go of the ways of th past .....

one may argue that India is a growing country .. and all this will take its own sweet time...... but one should realize that India will progress only if its youth make a move towards it instead of running to work-places abroad to make quick money ((which i'll speak about in a new post :) )) ....... and half of the youth are women .... and honestly .... I love my country and all that is there ...... but I know for a fact that we can do waaay better if we learn to respect each other and start working together ... keeping our ego ((lets say .... male ego too )) aside......

to all th men out there...... I m not trying to put forth a feminist issue ...... actually i wouldnt call myslef a feminist at all ......m an equal-ist ... and m just speaking about what most of the women in India face ..... Including me .. even though I come from a metropolitan and an educated family ....

look around u ...... almost everywhere u see ... every women u know ..... is bound by these sometimes said and sometimes unsaid code of conduct ..... and somehow crawls its way into culture and tradition ..... culture and tradition helps us in being rooted and instills values like ((honesty , braveness, loving and caring nature, peace of mind etc )) ..... most of us have covered our ego issues as tradition ...... !! how long do we plan to mask it , n run away from facing the fact ???

every modern household ((almost )) faces fights and disputes over these issues...... every girl who wants to make it big .... has to fight ..... !!!! actually i'll re-phrase .... every girl who wants to have her own identity has to fight ... not just with th outside world .... with her family too .......

in a place where being a single women at 27 is considered a shame ...... where parents black-mail kids sayin " we raised u ...... and u cant give us the pleasure of seeing our grandchildren ....... " , where girls are actually brought up keeping only their marriage in mind ..... and parents consider it as their prime duty to get us "properly wed " ...... I'd just like to say ... that I think its about time that we demand to be treated as an individual .....and start raising children with the idea to make sure that they are good people...... kind hearted and self-less, who can stand up for themselves and fight for whats right ...... instead of day-dreaming about grand-children and cursing fate if things dont turn out as u had hoped it would .....

we being the youth of the country ..... need role models ..... and like every1 els .... we are most likely to look upto our family 1st ...... so I would finally like to conclude this post , even-though i can go on and on ...... n would like to say that eventhough we curse that its not us ..... but th society is like that ... things are like that and it will take ages to change ..... we have to understand that we are th society .. and if we change th society will change too ..... every small contribution will make its mark ...... girls please stand up for yourself!!! fear n so called moral obligations needn't hold us back ...... listen to the voice inside u and do what u think is right ..... not whats being told ....as the popular saying goes "charity begins at home " , one's contribution begins at home 2 ,tiny tiny changes that we can make in our day to day life goes a long way ... ((hey do i wound like a politician ..... i donnu........ but honestly .... this is a serious issue )) ......

Gandhiji ....

i recently have come across a lot of people who are so darn against the sayings of this man ((i'd like to add great man ...... but dont wanna use adjectives )) i am not speaking on what he did 4 our country , n what he didnt.. ..cos honestly am not very sure about the facts of th freedom struggle.....

m speaking about the beliefs of this man ..... the inspiration that he is .... bringing such a huge country together which has such varied individuals ..leading such a diverse lot of people is a huge thing to achieve.... but sustaining the group when there was such a huge pressure to put them off..... n what was the strength that this lean, mal-nourished looking tiny bald-headed man possessed ... the strength of doing what he felt was right ..... to stand up for what he believes in.....

the enormous strength of tolerance... n yet standing up for one's right ...m spellbound ... such simplicity yet such strength .......

who said that taking crap n not giving back is a weakness.....i might be repeating myself.... but am very touched by the words n thoughts that no matter what one does to us.... that is no excuse for us to react .... that is not being sissy ...... :)

this post of mine is dedicated to the man who bent down ....who smiled back at people who insulted him ...... who could stand up for what he thought was right ... n i guess thats what matters in the end of the day .... doing what u feel is right.... satisfying ones own conscious ...

i have no conclusion for this post ... no inference ...i'd just like to say ... that m so inspired by these words...... n ....... guess thats it ..... :)

Heart Vs Hate

A confused person writes again ............

The need to hate ??? the need to hurt ???

I fail to understand the need to hate anyone..... be it a person who hurt u a lot priorly ... I have come across people who tend to get very upset and curse the very fact that they met someone who could hurt them, .... they tend to curse themselves to have let their gaurd down ...

But what is so wrong about letting your gaurd down .... letting people enter your lives... I understand self protection ... but I find it very saddening that v dont trust our race ... that v need to be rude to certain people just to show them that -hey am a strong person , dont u mess wit me....

isnt this the actual sign of a weakness?????

Few years back i had come across a saying " Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you." by Vipun Sharma.

And I look back to find that these words have no meaning today, its either hurt or get hurt .... the race of survival...... "survival of the fittest " ......

Being nice to strangers is a taboo, and is looked with contempt .... smiling to a person u meet in the sub-way is inviting trouble???!!!!

And I agree that all my friends who have cautioned me of my "juvenile" ((as they tend to put it )) behavior, they are right but all am trying to say is its very very ,......... sad ....... that we have to live this way .... in constant fear.

the way we dress , the way we talk , the way we carry ourselves.... everything is subjected to what others might think about us.... that no one should get a wrong signal.... or misunderstand.......

I maybe completely wrong , maybe this is the art of survival ... but I think that in midst of surviving, we are forgetting what really counts...

Our true identity is to love without fear and insecurity. .......isnt it ??

I conclude by saying ....I refuse to hate people, I refuse to be rude to strangers ,even if they do happen to mis-judge it, even to those who have hurt me,

That doesnt mean I'll crib or whine....I ll move on if one hurts me.... I wont stand crap beyond my tolerance level... but that doesnt mean I'll hit back ..... or actually even think of .....

n to those who feel that being rude to people who bug u , being mean to people whom u dont care about is the way to survive..... ummmm......... actually I'm nobody to judge here .... so am not gonna....

as low as it gets . ...................... sigh

am constantly meeting people who compare themselves with the ever anorexic super-models........ n the media plays its part fairly well ........ fairness creams was bad enough but now its fairness cream for men !!!!!!! whatever happened to the tall DARK n handsome men ....... whatever happened to the men smelling of sweet hard-working sweat ............. now-days one can possess the scent of anything they desire , musk, floral, sea, fruity, etc etc etc ........... maybe am just plain ol' school ............
every commercial break is packed with creams n beauty aids which insists that one can win a music/dance competition cos afterall they are fair n oh my god gorgeous...((plus the fact that dusky and brown women r more appreciated globally seems to make no difference in people's morale ))... the media tries to preach us that only if one doesn't have acne can one ever have good pals............

do they think v r this superficial ............... or r v this superficial ....... cos they seem to be making profit out of making us feel low about ourselves and judging us n others around us based on who's hair shines n is frizz free.......... !!!!! so many perfectly beautiful girls are made to believe that they aren't good enough ........ n am amazed at how some1 can get so influenced by any x-y-z n ignore the plain truth that lies in the mirror that they keep staring at ........... its a sad sight when people feel low and don't value themselves....how does one expect others to value them if they don't value themselves,........




ps
m sorry for such a late post ..............(( exams n stuff .....))

tHe SimplE liFe.......... ((or is it ??? )) ......

the last couple of days I spent out of the city ....... out of the god forsaken taffic.... the ever ruling pollution ..... the noise ......... I stayed in a small town ...... industrial town ... namely tirupur ... the place was neither polluted nor insanely packed with traffic......... it was calm ..... (relatively I guess).... people there were simple... nothing overdone... I thought I wud enjoy the break ....... but lets face it ........ the more I stayed away from home... the more I missed it .... I missed the 24 hours constant buzz of th city ...... ((which made me feel active n alive)) .... I missed the fact that no matter what time of the day it is.. the market area is always crowded.. I missed so many things....sigh......... n these r the same thing that pissed me..... ((n still does)).... guess the saying is right .... nothing feels like home...


ps..
but I can make my peace with the clean fresh air though..... :)

who's to judge ???

At times i ponder is it just me who feels uncomfortable when people judge...... when a girl wears a mini-skirt, or has had couple of relationships the common buzz is that aaaah she a bitch (sorry for the explicit language but come on admit it - it happens whether u like it or not ) ...... oh my she smokes/drinks......n lo behold people start judging again ........ n it just doesn't stop there does it ......they talk about it too....

n it doesnt stop with girls ........ a guy who looks at a gal .... ( u know where) ..... the bastard (judged again) the guy who flirts (again!!!) ..... the list goes on ....

in a world where we as a country are developing isnt it the need of the moment to grow along with it???

Isn't it true that we r given the right of free-will till it hurts somebody....... if it does then its terrorism right ???

but then it gets more complicated...... people getting hurt is a vast topic by itself.... off late moral policing seems to be the talk of the town.... public display of affection hurts the religious sentiments of people and our traditional values........ ???!!!

now am not digging out any conclusion .......... but I don't get it !!!! I really don't get it .........


ps..
Am not supporting drinking, smoking, guys who stare(mind u -its annoying)....... but I do think that its not a reason enough to judge or label anybody.......

Rise n Shine.......

A fresh new blog ....... a new point of view....... n this time it aint about fashion .... its about everything under the sun - the way I see it ... maybe it will assume a shape later on ..... but for now am not labeling it.... I' ll start this blog by saying I don't know where am going , but am on my way ....


ps
i know i use a lot of ....... :)